{"id":3292,"date":"2024-02-18T21:56:00","date_gmt":"2024-02-18T21:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/?p=3292"},"modified":"2024-09-30T01:47:54","modified_gmt":"2024-09-30T01:47:54","slug":"lessons-on-prayer-talking-to-god-when-your-heart-is-broken","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/?p=3292","title":{"rendered":"Lessons On Prayer: Talking to God When Your Heart Is Broken"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/a><\/div>\n

Prayer in the midst of deep loss and suffering can feel challenging, confusing, and even impossible in some cases.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Recently, a deacon at my church shared his testimony about the faithfulness of God in answering his bold,<\/span><\/p>\n

intentional prayers related to the health of a loved one.\u00a0 There is no doubt that God hears every prayer we <\/span><\/p>\n

offer. Tension arises, however, when circumstances occur in life that don\u2019t line up with what we <\/span>expect<\/span> from the God we always touted as good, faithful, and loving.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Throughout that service, God was nudging me to share my testimony as a follow-up to the truths expressed by<\/span><\/p>\n

this fellow believer. Our experiences are far from contradictory. In fact, they complement each other by<\/span><\/p>\n

validating how God reveals Himself and His character through our prayers in every circumstance of life,<\/span><\/p>\n

including those of joy and yes, even sorrow.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

God has three types of responses to our requests.\u00a0 Sometimes His reply is yes, which feels really uplifting to <\/span><\/p>\n

our human hearts.\u00a0 A response of wait often brings frustration and uncertainty about just how long the waiting <\/span><\/p>\n

may last. And even harder yet, sometimes the answer is no.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

The tragic loss of my 15-year-old son in May of 2020 was a prime example of the most dreaded response. <\/span><\/p>\n

The one our hearts are rarely prepared for.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

After Dalton went to Heaven, I thought deeply about the prayers I had prayed throughout the 15 years of his <\/span><\/p>\n

life. As every parent does, I asked God to protect him daily. Beyond his protection, I also asked God to help<\/span><\/p>\n

him make good decisions and to equip him to be a positive Christian influence to those around him.\u00a0 In the<\/span><\/p>\n

aftermath of Dalton\u2019s death, it felt like God hadn\u2019t lived up to His promise to protect my son.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Verses like <\/span>2 Thessalonians 3<\/span><\/a>:3\u00a0angered me. “But the Lord is faithful. He will sustain you and guard you against the evil one.”<\/p>\n

\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

God,\u00a0 you said you would guard him from the evil one?\u00a0 But you didn\u2019t!\u00a0 You let the enemy lie to him. <\/span><\/p>\n

How could you? <\/span>My head knew<\/span> that God hears and answers all prayers.\u00a0 But my crushed heart sure didn\u2019t<\/span><\/p>\n

feel this truth.\u00a0 Nothing added up.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

God felt cruel instead of like the good, loving, faithful Father I had learned about in church all of my life.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Since then God graciously led me to discover the prayer language of lament, the one that gives me permission<\/span><\/p>\n

to bring my frustrations, complaints, and difficult questions to Him openly and honestly.\u00a0 I grabbed hold of every<\/span><\/p>\n

trustworthy promise that demonstrated God\u2019s character including His goodness, faithfulness, grace, mercy, <\/span><\/p>\n

justice, Sovereignty, and steadfast love.\u00a0 <\/span>And the more I learned about His character, the easier it became to<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

trust Him again.<\/b><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

My prayer walk in the midst of the Dark has been messy, challenging, and even full of sheer doubt at times.\u00a0 <\/span>Is<\/span><\/p>\n

there really any point in praying if God is going to do what He wants anyway? <\/span>But Go<\/span>d<\/span> never lets go of<\/span><\/p>\n

me.\u00a0 He continues teaching me and growing my faith in unimaginable ways. All because I didn\u2019t give up on<\/span><\/p>\n

talking to Him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

What have I learned?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

First, God doesn\u2019t always intervene to <\/span>prevent<\/span> suffering but He always intervenes to <\/span>produce<\/span>something through our suffering. <\/span>God never <\/span> lets our tears go to waste IF we humbly partner with Him.\u00a0 He <\/span><\/p>\n

can\u2019t use our trials if we aren\u2019t willing (Davey Blackburn, <\/span>Pain to Purpose <\/span>course).<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Because I prayed for Dalton to be a positive Christian influence in the world, his death forced me to wrestle<\/span><\/p>\n

with how God could allow my son\u2019s Christian impact to be completely erased.\u00a0 My narrow-mindedness didn\u2019t<\/span><\/p>\n

recognize that God is, in fact, answering that prayer.\u00a0 Just not the way I had planned while Dalton was physically<\/span><\/p>\n

present.\u00a0 Instead, He is using my husband and me to be Dalton\u2019s voice for Christ now.\u00a0 His life is still making a<\/span><\/p>\n

difference for eternity each time the two of us say yes to what God asks us to do.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

God\u2019s answer isn\u2019t always deliverance <\/span>from<\/span> our suffering.\u00a0 Sometimes His grace shifts to sustaining us <\/span>through<\/span> our suffering instead. I will not experience <\/span>deliverance <\/span>from my grief until I\u2019m in Heaven enjoying a tear-free<\/span><\/p>\n

existence with Jesus and Dalton.\u00a0 But God single-handedly sustains me every moment of every day in my <\/span><\/p>\n

anguish and weariness.\u00a0 It\u2019s vital for our prayer life to include both types-prayers of <\/span>deliverance and<\/span><\/p>\n

sustenance.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Isaiah 46:4 says,\u00a0 \u201cEven <\/span>to your old age and gray hairs I am <\/span>he, I am he who will sustain you.\u00a0 I have made you<\/span><\/p>\n

and I will carry <\/span>you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Pray <\/span>from <\/b><\/span>a promise <\/span>rather than<\/span> for <\/span>a promise (This is not original to me).\u00a0 My old prayers focused on God<\/span><\/p>\n

granting me <\/span>a healthy, happy life free of pain.\u00a0 I was asking Him to promise me something that isn\u2019t possible<\/span><\/p>\n

while living in a <\/span>world fractured by sin.\u00a0 Now, I pray from the promise of His presence, knowing He will be with<\/span><\/p>\n

me and never <\/span>leave me.\u00a0 And from the promise of His love which has the power to sustain me in whatever He <\/span><\/p>\n

allows in my <\/span>life. John 16:33 says, \u201cIn this world you will have trouble.\u00a0 But take heart.\u00a0 I have overcome the <\/span><\/p>\n

world.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

God didn\u2019t rescue and protect Dalton the way I wanted him to.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t perform a miracle on May 14, 2020,<\/span><\/p>\n

by stopping Dalton\u2019s tragedy.\u00a0 But He IS definitely performing a miracle in me each time He rescues me out of<\/span><\/p>\n

my trauma and despair.\u00a0 He helps me survive hour by hour, day by day.\u00a0 He picks me up and carries me when<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t take one more step. While Dalton didn\u2019t experience a miracle, it\u2019s undeniable that I absolutely am.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

My former prayer life included requests focused on one outcome\u2013what Lisa wanted.\u00a0 The issue with my tunnel-<\/span><\/p>\n

vision prayers led me to believe God was cruel when I didn\u2019t get my way.\u00a0 I wish my prayers had sounded<\/span><\/p>\n

more like this.\u00a0 <\/span>God, heal my loved one.\u00a0 I know your specialty is in performing miracles.\u00a0 But if you don\u2019t<\/span><\/p>\n

perform the miracle that matches my human desires, help me to trust you, hold confidence in your<\/span><\/p>\n

faithfulness, and accept your Sovereignty.\u00a0 I will need your help the entire way.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Finally, my pastor pointed out 2 important aspects about prayer recently.\u00a0 One, we pray to give God glory.\u00a0 And<\/span><\/p>\n

two, God grows our faith through our prayers. So I ask\u2026.Which outcome grows my faith more? Or brings<\/span><\/p>\n

God more glory? The ones where God tells me yes and gives me everything I want? Or the ones where He tells<\/span><\/p>\n

me no and yet I choose to keep trusting Him, turning to Him, leaning on Him even when nothing in the world<\/span><\/p>\n

makes sense.\u00a0 I don\u2019t point this out to say, \u201cLook at all the glory I\u2019m bringing God.\u00a0 Or look how strong my<\/span><\/p>\n

faith is.\u201d\u00a0 In all honesty, I still would never willingly choose to drink from this cup if it were up to me.\u00a0]<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Conversely, I highlight this to prove that stories of adversity hold greater potential to impact others\u2019 lives for <\/span><\/p>\n

Christ.\u00a0 Bringing glory to God motivates me to steward my pain well for His Kingdom.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

All this points to one fundamental principle about prayer:\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

God doesn\u2019t use our prayers to change our circumstances. He uses our prayers to <\/span>change US IN our<\/span><\/p>\n

circumstances<\/span>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

As this deacon closed his testimony, he led the congregation in reciting,\u00a0 \u201cGod is good all the time.\u00a0 All the time,<\/span><\/p>\n

God is good.\u201d\u00a0 When my worst nightmare became my reality, uttering those words felt hypocritical. My lips <\/span><\/p>\n

refused to let them out.\u00a0 But God didn\u2019t throw me away or say, \u201cI\u2019m done with you.\u201d\u00a0 Instead, He intervened <\/span><\/p>\n

because I kept talking to Him.\u00a0 God showed His faithfulness as He changed ME in my circumstances.\u00a0 But only<\/span><\/p>\n

when I became willing to cooperate.\u00a0 That Sunday morning was the first time in nearly 4 years that my silence<\/span><\/p>\n

was broken during this exercise.\u00a0 With tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat, I quietly joined.\u00a0 The tears<\/span><\/p>\n

didn\u2019t result from sadness.\u00a0 They resulted from my awe of God\u2019s faithfulness and mercy to love and care for me<\/span><\/p>\n

in my shattered mess.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

My life-changing circumstances are far from\u00a0 good.\u00a0 <\/span>But the God who is holding me in those <\/span><\/p>\n

circumstances absolutely is!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

So, today, I invite you to echo these powerful words <\/span>with me.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGod is good\u2026.all the time.\u00a0 All the time\u2026God is <\/span>good.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And if your lips were resistant to this exercise like mine once were, keep turning to, talking with, and trusting in<\/span><\/p>\n

your Heavenly Father. He\u2019s got you.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Father God, I pray that the experiences you asked me to share here will fall on the hearts of anyone<\/span><\/p>\n

reading who is struggling with prayer.\u00a0 May something I said encourage them to keep trusting You even <\/span><\/p>\n

when the answers to overwhelming life situations don\u2019t feel good.\u00a0 Thank you for being a faithful,<\/span><\/p>\n

loving Savior with a plan to overcome every struggle, hardship, and tragedy this world has ever <\/span><\/p>\n

witnessed.\u00a0 You already have victory over all of it.\u00a0 In Jesus\u2019 name, Amen.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Prayer in the midst of deep loss and suffering can feel challenging, confusing, and even impossible in some cases.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 Recently, a deacon at my church shared his testimony about the faithfulness of God in answering his bold, intentional prayers related to the health of a loved one.\u00a0 There is no doubt that God hears […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3330,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,19,16,14,22,20,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3292","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-child-loss","category-child-loss-to-suicide","category-christian","category-grief-and-faith","category-losing-a-child","category-suffering","category-surviving-a-suicide"],"blocksy_meta":[],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/Prayer-blog-600x400.jpg","featured_image_src_square":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/Prayer-blog-600x425.jpg","author_info":{"display_name":"survivingmypas","author_link":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/?author=1"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3292","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3292"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3292\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3330"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3292"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3292"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3292"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}