{"id":3293,"date":"2024-01-14T21:51:00","date_gmt":"2024-01-14T21:51:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/?p=3293"},"modified":"2024-09-30T01:53:30","modified_gmt":"2024-09-30T01:53:30","slug":"you-dont-know-what-you-have-until-its-gone-doesnt-have-to-be-true","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/?p=3293","title":{"rendered":"“You Don’t Know What You Have Until It’s Gone” Doesn’t Have To Be True"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/a><\/div>\n

\u201c<\/span>You don\u2019t know what you have until it\u2019s gone<\/span>\u201d doesn\u2019t have to be true.<\/span><\/p>\n

Does it seem odd to anyone else that we wait until a person dies to notice what <\/span>made<\/span> them loved and appreciated?<\/span><\/p>\n

The phrase \u201c<\/span>better late than never<\/span>\u201d certainly doesn\u2019t apply in this situation.<\/span><\/p>\n

When it\u2019s impossible to maintain a physical, reciprocal relationship with an individual, our hearts naturally zoom<\/span><\/p>\n

in on everything we loved about them but will never get to experience with them again. The rest doesn\u2019t seem <\/span><\/p>\n

to matter anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

It can even appear as though the person who died lived a \u201csaintly life.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Dalton\u2019s family, we\u2019re guilty of this ourselves.\u00a0 And anyone who knew Dalton knows he was far from a<\/span><\/p>\n

saint (but neither are we).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

But without him here, there is zero purpose in focusing on the parts of him that sometimes drove us crazy.<\/span>The reality is, we would give anything to have ALL of Dalton back, the lovely and the not-so-lovely.<\/span><\/p>\n

His not-so-lovely doesn\u2019t look not-so-lovely anymore. <\/span>The love for him we once touted as unconditional<\/span><\/p>\n

wasn\u2019t as unconditional as we thought.\u00a0 Our forced separation from him enlightened us to the depth and fullness<\/span><\/p>\n

of <\/span>pure unconditional love<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

The patterns of relationships we follow in life and death greatly impact the value and fulfillment of <\/span><\/p>\n

the relationships we are presently in.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Why is it that we avoid acknowledging the things we appreciate about a person until we\u2019re standing in front of<\/span><\/p>\n

their grave? Really?\u00a0 It takes us all of their life to pen the list of redeeming qualities they were born with?<\/span><\/p>\n

Why, instead, do we focus on what inconveniences us and \u201cgets on our nerves\u201d at every little turn? What we <\/span><\/p>\n

wish they would or wouldn\u2019t do.\u00a0 The different choices we think they should make.\u00a0 How wrong they are and<\/span><\/p>\n

how right we are.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

We are just as guilty of all of this as much as the next person. Personal experience brings the most authentic <\/span><\/p>\n

writing topics.<\/span><\/p>\n

Wouldn\u2019t our interactions be more effective when speaking affirming words to loved ones on a more regular<\/span><\/p>\n

basis?\u00a0 (We\u2019re in no way suggesting we stick our heads in the clouds to\u00a0 excuse or even ignore behaviors that<\/span><\/p>\n

truly require change.)<\/span><\/p>\n

From our vantage point, making this simple timing change is a humble starting point.\u00a0 Less complaining about<\/span><\/p>\n

those around us and more speaking of the good in people.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It really is okay to say nice things about people even though society disagrees. <\/span>All humans<\/span> were<\/span><\/p>\n

wired to appreciate words of affirmation.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

You <\/span>can<\/span> know what you have before it\u2019s gone,<\/span> but sometimes you have to be intentional and willing to notice what\u2019s right in front of you.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Start today.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Start small.\u00a0 One person.\u00a0 One simple message, text, or spoken word.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

You\u2019ll be surprised at the potential that grows from there. Opportunities will spring up where you least expect<\/span><\/p>\n

them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Be intentional.\u00a0 Tell your friend or family member what you are grateful for about them. Focus on <\/span>one <\/span>thing you<\/span><\/p>\n

would miss if tomorrow never came.<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/b>Because if tomorrow never comes, your audience will become those in attendance at their funeral.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t wait for a funeral director to ask you for a list of what you loved.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

That\u2019s when it\u2019s too late.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And in this case, late isn\u2019t better than never.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cYou don\u2019t know what you have until it\u2019s gone\u201d doesn\u2019t have to be true. Does it seem odd to anyone else that we wait until a person dies to notice what made them loved and appreciated? The phrase \u201cbetter late than never\u201d certainly doesn\u2019t apply in this situation. When it\u2019s impossible to maintain a physical, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3332,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,16,18,14,22],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3293","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-child-loss","category-christian","category-faith","category-grief-and-faith","category-losing-a-child"],"blocksy_meta":[],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/Love-what-you-have-600x400.jpg","featured_image_src_square":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/Love-what-you-have-600x600.jpg","author_info":{"display_name":"survivingmypas","author_link":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/?author=1"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3293","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3293"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3293\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3332"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3293"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3293"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3293"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}