{"id":3294,"date":"2024-01-06T18:45:00","date_gmt":"2024-01-06T18:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/?p=3294"},"modified":"2024-09-30T01:57:14","modified_gmt":"2024-09-30T01:57:14","slug":"my-comfort-is-dependent-on-my-cooperation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/?p=3294","title":{"rendered":"My Comfort Is Dependent On My Cooperation"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/a><\/div>\n

When my kids were little, part of my job as their mom was to comfort them when they were hurting.\u00a0 Sometimes<\/span><\/p>\n

this was after a physical injury such as a bike accident or a sports injury on the basketball court or football <\/span><\/p>\n

field.\u00a0 Other times, one of them needed emotional support resulting from a disagreement with a friend or some <\/span><\/p>\n

other disappointing loss.\u00a0 Because they were two unique human beings with distinct personalities , the approach<\/span><\/p>\n

I took to ease their pain was also poles apart.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

I\u2019m reluctant to admit that I\u2019ve found myself resistant to some of the words I\u2018ve read or heard from other<\/span><\/p>\n

well-meaning people also walking through grief as I search for comfort.\u00a0 What was helpful for them often <\/span><\/p>\n

leaves me empty,\u00a0 yet full of guilt.\u00a0 <\/span>Why do I push away their thoughts?\u00a0 They\u2019re just trying to help me. Am<\/span><\/p>\n

I self-selecting only what I want to believe?\u00a0 Is my faith weak, leaving me in doubt of God\u2019s promises? <\/span><\/p>\n

Am I just a difficult, bitter person who is always on the defense now that I\u2019ve lost my child?\u00a0 Why do<\/span><\/p>\n

these words make me feel worse?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

One day, God completely put my mind at ease, removing the guilt that had taken root.\u00a0 <\/span>Lisa, you are a unique<\/span><\/p>\n

individual.\u00a0 You walked into your grief with certain life experiences, relationships, perspectives, <\/span><\/p>\n

personality traits, past hurts and wounds, paradigms, and views of yourself, the world, and Me.\u00a0 If I try<\/span><\/p>\n

to comfort you exactly the same as every other grieving parent,\u00a0 you will be resistant to trusting Me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Instead, I have a carefully crafted plan just for you.\u00a0 Remember, I created you.\u00a0 I know everything about<\/span><\/p>\n

you\u2013even more than you know about yourself.\u00a0 If you allow me to, I will tend to every last need in your<\/span><\/p>\n

heart.\u00a0 I will bring promises and truths to you when your heart is ready.\u00a0 But until then,\u00a0 I will extend <\/span><\/p>\n

you the necessary grace to bridge the gaps.\u00a0 I know what you need and when.\u00a0 Will you trust Me?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

It made so much sense.\u00a0 God comforts each of us even more perfectly and intimately than we ever could <\/span><\/p>\n

imagine doing for our own children.\u00a0 His grace and truth work in tandem.\u00a0 The book of John points out they are<\/span><\/p>\n

inseparable.\u00a0 And, as a result, we receive God\u2019s comfort tailored specifically to each of our needs.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Here are some insights I have been most resistant to.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Searching for answers about the details of Heaven:<\/b>\u00a0 Yes, we know Heaven is a perfect place where our tears will be wiped away and our sorrows made untrue.\u00a0 But, there\u2019s also a great deal left to interpret about this promised land.\u00a0 When finding satisfying answers becomes my sole focus, my soul longs to be there rather than here.\u00a0 My assurance of Heaven reminds me this world is not the end, but for me,\u00a0 its glory must be considered in small glimpses rather than lengthy gazes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Dalton\u2019s purpose on earth was <\/b>fulfilled<\/b><\/span>: <\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

From my standpoint, I refuse to ever let Dalton\u2019s life stop having meaning, value, or purpose.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Dalton is still making a difference from Heaven.\u00a0 God wasn\u2019t done with Dalton because\u00a0 He continues <\/span><\/p>\n

to use his precious and way too short life\u00a0 in ways I could have never imagined.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

God works all things for my good:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

While I know with every ounce of my soul that I serve an infinitely good and loving God, there is no<\/span><\/p>\n

way He expects me to see my tragedy as working for <\/span>my good. <\/span>Y<\/span>et, at the same time, I also trust<\/span><\/p>\n

that God didn\u2019t allow this Dark to enter my world without meaning.\u00a0 I will never know the <\/span>whys<\/span> behind what took place.\u00a0 But, what I do know is that my Heavenly Father is repurposing this heartache <\/span><\/p>\n

in order to produce something through me for a cause far greater than myself.\u00a0 A cause called His <\/span><\/p>\n

Kingdom. A beautiful example of the redemptive power of Jesus Christ.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Our time on earth is short:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Since I\u2019m 49, it\u2019s possible that I could live for 30-40 more years.\u00a0 That feels like an eternity when<\/span><\/p>\n

enduring separation from one of the most precious people I desperately love.\u00a0 So instead, I focus on<\/span><\/p>\n

how God will give me purpose and meaning through my loss and tragedy to help me <\/span>wait well <\/span>until my<\/span><\/p>\n

time on earth is over.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\n

Unlike me, some of these mindsets may ease your heartache.\u00a0 I am very thankful for that.\u00a0 Fortunately, God\u2019s<\/span><\/p>\n

grace will bridge the gaps in my heart until He is ready to use another anchor of Truth to piece me back<\/span><\/p>\n

together. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

\n

Just as schools establish an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) for students with diverse learning needs, God <\/span><\/p>\n

similarly constructs an ICP (Individualized Comfort Plan) for His children.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

These secure anchors were written in my ICP by my loving Father who <\/span>knows me full well<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

God loves me beyond measure and provides every need I have.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

God sustains me in every situation that feels impossible.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Just today<\/span>:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

God will give me the grace I need to get through today. \u00a0 Tomorrow, He will supply the needed grace<\/span><\/p>\n

for its struggles.\u00a0 Focusing on <\/span>just today <\/span>greatly <\/span>reduces my anxiety and overwhelm.\u00a0 Some days <\/span><\/p>\n

these two words play on repeat all day long while other days, they crop up only once or twice.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

God told me no:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Acknowledging the sovereignty of God helps me surrender to the circumstances God has allowed in<\/span><\/p>\n

my life.\u00a0 I will most likely never have the answers to why, but I can trust that He will use my heartache <\/span><\/p>\n

for His Heavenly purposes.\u00a0 He told me \u201cno\u201d to a life with Dalton for now.\u00a0 But a resounding \u201cyes\u201d to a<\/span><\/p>\n

life with <\/span>Dalton for eternity one day.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

This world is NOT the end:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0If all we are afforded in our earthly life is a broken world full of trials and tragedies, then what reason<\/span><\/p>\n

would any of us have for living? This difficult, tear-stained life full of adversity and hardship isn\u2019t all I get..<\/span><\/p>\n

As my dear friend Joy always reminded others, \u201cThe best is yet to come.\u201d\u00a0 Someday, I will meet Jesus<\/span><\/p>\n

when, hand in hand, He and Dalton greet me \u201cin paradise.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

With each nugget of truth I gather along the way, God draws me in closer\u2026<\/span>and closer\u2026\u2026and closer.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As my newfound reality sets in, my guilt <\/span>divinely melts.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

\n

But here\u2019s the kicker.\u00a0 If Carly and Dalton never <\/span>came to me <\/span>when they<\/span> were hurting, they wouldn\u2019t have<\/span><\/p>\n

been able to <\/span>receive <\/span>my comfort. This is equally true with us and <\/span>God.<\/span> We can\u2019t benefit from our ICP<\/span><\/p>\n

unless we are a cooperating partner with our Heavenly Father. We make the choice to turn to Him in<\/span><\/p>\n

the midst of pain by trusting Him even when life makes absolutely no sense. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

So often in life figuring out the <\/span>why<\/span> is as far as we get<\/span>.\u00a0 And the <\/span>how <\/span>gets ignored. \u00a0 Maybe you\u2019ve been given<\/span><\/p>\n

advice to \u201cturn to God\u201d before and always wondered exactly what that looks like.\u00a0 Here\u2019s <\/span>how<\/span> I receive God\u2019s <\/span>comfort in my life.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n