{"id":3295,"date":"2023-12-23T03:33:00","date_gmt":"2023-12-23T03:33:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/?p=3295"},"modified":"2024-09-30T01:59:11","modified_gmt":"2024-09-30T01:59:11","slug":"when-im-sinking","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/?p=3295","title":{"rendered":"When I’m Sinking"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Recently we had a plumber install a new dishwasher in our house.\u00a0 Because he is efficient , he brought a variety of tools with him to complete the job.\u00a0 Without the proper tools for each step of the installation,\u00a0 the work would never get done.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

God graciously blesses me with a range of rescue tools that offer comfort throughout my messy, disorganized grief journey.\u00a0 My tool selection depends on what I’m feeling in the moment and the intensity\/duration of the ache. I pray that this powerful tool I share here will be a helpful addition to your survival toolbox as you navigate whatever overwhelming circumstances life has brought your way. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Rescue Tool: Fix Your Gaze On Jesus<\/span><\/p>\n

I have read the story of Jesus walking on water more times than I can count (Matthew 14:22-33).\u00a0 Maybe you have, too.\u00a0 With each reading, my primary focus was the power Jesus possessed in being able to do something incredibly miraculous.\u00a0 I was amazed by His superhuman abilities.\u00a0 The words filled my ears, but I never grasped how the events applied to my life.\u00a0 After all, there was no possible way I would ever walk on water.<\/span><\/p>\n

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And then my son went to Heaven.<\/span><\/p>\n

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One day, during an ugly cry of hopelessness, this classic Bible story popped in my mind.\u00a0 But this time, I wasn\u2019t fascinated by Jesus\u2019 superhuman qualities.\u00a0 This time, I was struck by Peter\u2019s actions and the words Jesus spoke to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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The instant Dalton left earth, Jesus called me out of the boat just like He did Peter.\u00a0 Not to do something I would label as amazing, inspiring, or ambitious.\u00a0 Instead, He called me out to do something that felt impossible.\u00a0 A calling that is only survivable if I trust Him and hold faith in who He is.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It didn\u2019t take long to see how much I\u2019m like Peter.\u00a0 It\u2019s easy in my grief to gaze at the storm raging around me.\u00a0 That\u2019s what Peter did.\u00a0 He became afraid when he saw the winds swirling as he fearfully moved\u00a0 toward Jesus with doubt.\u00a0 And when his eyes shifted from Jesus to the violent waters, he began to sink.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes, I sink, too.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Sinkin<\/span>g sounds like this in my head.\u00a0 <\/span>I can\u2019t live without Dalton.\u00a0 Missing him is squeezing the life out of me. There\u2019s no way I can survive this tragedy.\u00a0 How\u00a0 will I ever heal from the traumatic events I endured?\u00a0 Graduation is coming and I\u2019ll never make it through.\u00a0 I have to possibly live for 30-40 years without Dalton.\u00a0 That’s too long! I won’t make it! God, where are you?\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When I start sinking, I\u00a0 find it calming to picture Jesus and me standing on the waves. \u00a0 I imagine Him saying these words to me. <\/span>Lisa, look right here at me.\u00a0 Don\u2019t stare at your dreadful surroundings.\u00a0 I know.\u00a0 They\u2019re\u00a0 terrifying.\u00a0 Life looks unrecognizable, impossible, and
\nunsurvivable.\u00a0 Do you trust Me?\u00a0 Do you have faith that I am bigger than this storm?\u00a0 I have you.\u00a0 I won\u2019t leave you or let you down.\u00a0 But you must fix your gaze straight ahead.\u00a0 You can do this.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

These words calm my anxiousness, doubts, fears, and desires for my nightmare to not be true.\u00a0 Their sharp claws loosen their grip on my heart. Until these same thoughts and feelings buiild up again. And I repeat the process.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

I must be honest here.\u00a0 This practice won\u2019t eliminate our sorrows and melt our grief away.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t change our circumstances.\u00a0 But it allows us to plug into Jesus\u2019 power and strength when we resolve to trust Him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Notice that Jesus didn\u2019t calm the winds while Peter took one reluctant step after another.\u00a0 Rather, the winds raged until Peter and Jesus climbed back into the safety of the boat. \u00a0 Without Jesus supplying Peter the power and strength to walk on the waves, Peter would sink over and over.\u00a0 That\u2019s how He works in our storms, too.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
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<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Envisioning this scene reorients our hearts and minds away from the tragic events that life ushers in and allows us, instead, to gaze at (have trust and faith in) the One who makes it possible to do the impossible.\u00a0 Fixing our eyes on Jesus and the Hope He provides reminds us that God is in control, and we are going to be okay.\u00a0 It enables us to press on (continue walking on the rough waters) even though our heart is shattered.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Grie<\/span>f poses real, painful emotions that demand to be acknowledged and processed in healthy ways. Let me be clear: Individuals must \u201clook\u201d at their circumstances (the howling winds) as they work through their pain toward healing.\u00a0 Difficult emotions can’t be avoided and shoved down. They will present themselves later in uninvited ways. But, danger arises when our entire gaze is fixed <\/span>solely on our circumstances<\/span>.\u00a0 When this happens, life appears frightening. Emotions become overwhelming which leads to despair or hopelessness.\u00a0 I know because this happens to me even now, 3 \u00bd years into my grief.\u00a0 That\u2019s when Jesus invites me to cling to this Bible story\u00a0as I picture this scene and replay His words. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

I wonder if you’re walking through an impossible situation right now.\u00a0 A diagnosis that\u2019s terrifying.\u00a0 A broken marriage that can\u2019t be repaired.\u00a0 A mental health condition that makes every day a struggle.\u00a0 Stress due to hardship after hardship piled on top of you all at once. The reality of a holiday, birthday, or just any day without your precious child or loved one.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve been summoned out of the boat into turbulent waters, I pray this tool will rescue you as it does me.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

I never thought I could do something that required superhuman abilities.\u00a0 That was until I lost my son.\u00a0 Jesus called me into unsettled waters.\u00a0 Thankfully, He didn\u2019t shove me and mutter, \u201cGood luck.\u201d\u00a0 He gently said, \u201cStep out.\u00a0 I\u2019ll do this with you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Recently we had a plumber install a new dishwasher in our house.\u00a0 Because he is efficient , he brought a variety of tools with him to complete the job.\u00a0 Without the proper tools for each step of the installation,\u00a0 the work would never get done.\u00a0\u00a0 God graciously blesses me with a range of rescue tools […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3335,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,19,16,18,14,23,22,20,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3295","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-child-loss","category-child-loss-to-suicide","category-christian","category-faith","category-grief-and-faith","category-grieving-a-suicide","category-losing-a-child","category-suffering","category-surviving-a-suicide"],"blocksy_meta":[],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Sinking-Blog.jpg","featured_image_src_square":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Sinking-Blog.jpg","author_info":{"display_name":"survivingmypas","author_link":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/?author=1"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3295","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3295"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3295\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3335"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3295"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3295"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/survivingmypastbecauseofmyfuture.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3295"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}