Physical Address
304 North Cardinal St.
Dorchester Center, MA 02124
Occasionally after contacting a customer service representative, I have the option to take a satisfaction survey.
Recently, I read through the questions of such a survey in wonderment. How would I respond if God handed
me a similar questionnaire about my life when I arrive in Heaven?
Were you satisfied with the life you had on Earth? Yes No
What kind of question is that? Look at what I’ve gone through! Visual impairment from the age of eight that required dependence on others with countless tasks. Never getting to experience independence of going where I wanted to go or when I wanted to go without having to pre-plan every detail of the outing. And to add insult to injury….losing my son to suicide while I was at home. Having to be the one to find him. Missing out on memory after memory that I had planned to make with Dalton in our close, fun-loving family of four now reduced to three. And you wonder if I’m satisfied?
Perhaps you can relate because life has been one hard thing after another with no end in sight. I know I don’t
walk alone in the furnace of suffering. So maybe your answer would sound much like mine.
God, I’m sorry, but my answer is definitely NO. What human could possibly be content in such
conditions?
Before that question fell out of my mouth, the answer had already appeared.
The Apostle Paul was content in such adverse conditions.
Philippians 4:11-13 says, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
Okay, so I guess there is one person. But, God, we are talking about Paul here, a person who was so extraordinary he made it into the Bible. You don’t expect me to live up to his standards do you?
Ugh, this verse made me feel so ungrateful. Like my faith isn’t as robust as Paul’s. He could be content no
matter what he faced. Me….not so much. Anything less than “Lisa’s way” ends in dissatisfaction with my
life. Child loss and lifelong disability do not bring me contentment.
That was until I took a closer look at the verse. Paul didn’t say he was content with his circumstances. I
highly doubt he liked being hungry, beaten, and thrown in jail time and time again. But, Paul did say he was
content in his faithful Heavenly Father who stayed by his side through it all. Paul didn’t have to rely on his own strength. God provided him sufficient grace to sustain him every day regardless of what he faced.
Wow, that sounds awfully familiar.
Like Paul, I don’t enjoy living with limited sight and not being able to drive or independently carry out daily
activities like everyone else. I don’t enjoy being separated from Dalton until God takes me home. I am not
content with these grievous conditions by any stretch of the imagination (Side note: Neither is God. He didn’t intend for the world to be broken as a result of sin. But He did send his Son as a sacrifice so that
pain and death will one day be no more). Instead, I can be content in the One who supplies the grace that holds me together amidst my grueling and often scary surroundings.
In my guilt, I reread the directions on God’s survey and realized that If I answered no to question one, I was
to proceed to the next three questions.
Were you satisfied with the care and attention I provided you through every hard thing I allowed in
your life?
Were you satisfied with the love I showed you through my faithful servants on Earth?
Were you satisfied with the sustaining grace I sent your way every single day?
This time I didn’t feel so guilty about my answers–yes, yes, and yes. In actuality, my faith wasn’t weak compared
to Paul’s. I was just basing my contentment on the wrong criterion.
First Corinthians 12:9 says, “ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect
in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may
rest on me.”
My prayers in the midst of grief don’t ask for deliverance from my circumstances. I will not be delivered from
my chronic emotional pain until I leave this earth. Instead, my prayers ask for sustenance. I beg God to hold
me together in my persistent pain while I work to live well for the rest of my days. Sustain me, Lord. I can’t
do this anymore. I’m at the end of me. I need your strength. I imagine Paul prayed something very similar.
God never leaves me to flounder on my own. His mercies are new every morning (Lam. 3:22-23). He will
sustain you, too. God never defaults on His promises.
The only reason I am still standing rather than crouching in a corner is because I choose to lean on God as He carries me through the Dark.
I discovered that my satisfaction hinges on what or who I am anchored to. If I am anchored to my earthly struggles, I will live with anger, resentment, and bitterness because I was robbed of what everyone else experienced. If I am anchored to the Almighty God who supplies me Hope, grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love, I can live with purpose because this world is not the end. What I lost and lived without on Earth will be restored to me in Heaven because of the sacrifice that Jesus made.
God’s grace grants me satisfaction in my Savior who never lets me down. He is enough. True customer service at its best. And it’s completely free!
Whatever overwhelming situations you are facing today, God wants to tenderly care for you with the same attention he provides me. Reach out to Him. He doesn’t always change your circumstances, but He always gives you the strength and ability to walk through them.
